What a Bunch of FILFTHY Liars!: How Deceptive Journalists are Screwing the News

You know, there’s a very big reason why most people don’t “buy into” the news: it’s because news reporters are a bunch of biased, media-altering, story-fabricating assholes.

Not all of them. Barbara Walters is really cool. But there are enough out there to make prospective informees turn a deaf ear to some potentially breaking news. I say “potentially” because, well, as just mentioned, a lot of it is trumped-up shit.

THROWBACK TO 2003! New York Times up-and-comer Jayson Blaire is exposed as a fraudulent fraud for plagiarizing work and fabricating key details for DOZENS of news stories–DOZENS! This guy was be-LOVED by the Times‘s staff, and, in their words, his follies were “a profound betrayal of trust and a low point in the 152-year history of the newspaper.” His cronies, executive editor Howell Raines and managing editor, Gerald M. Boyd, also got the boot for printing his stories despite knowledge that he was a big-fat-fabricator. What dicks.

Yeah, I know that was a while ago, but this betrayal of trust is something that’s stuck with the people. And why shouldn’t it? Crooked journalism is as rampant as ever. Good going with the Trayvon Martin botch, NBC. I’m sure nobody will notice the out of context audio between Zimmerman and the police, the out-of-date photographs of Trayvon, and the complete neglect of Trayvon’s brutal, unprovoked behavior toward Zimmerman before the shooting. Crack job, team.

So whatever, Jerky Journalists. You’re only screwing yourselves. When people stop reading your articles, watching your reports, or giving you any sort of credence, welp, you’ll be fired, and that’s it.